tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21187136379941208012024-03-18T20:30:11.635-07:00Scaly NewsNOTICIAS DE DONDE MASCA LA IGUANAEdigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-26943956501681767372017-09-23T09:18:00.001-07:002017-09-23T09:19:33.212-07:00Snapshots of the first 2 weeks of class<br />
<br />
<b>First day of class</b><br />
Edigator: Hellow, I'm Ms. Edigator.<br />
Students: Fuck you, suck my balls!<br />
<br />
<b>Second day of class</b><br />
Ms. Edigator, your 13 year old student who has a 20 year old boyfriend ran away from home. Contact the police if you see her.<br />
<br />
<b>Second week of class</b><br />
"You are not allowed to change any texts without written authorization from central office. You will teach the extremely shitty short story from <i>Goosebumps </i>in Spanish, where all the characters are written directly by the ass of R.L. Stein and translated by Mr. Google-Translate's Mentally Handicapped Twin."<br />
<br />
<b>Second week of class</b><br />
Teacher: You know, these kids don't know any better. All of their parents are illegals, so the children know nothing but crime.<br />
Edigator: Urm, you mean refugees or undocumented people?<br />
Teacher: Uh? No, illegals.<br />
<br />
<b>Second week of class</b><br />
Edigator: Class, we are going to work on respecting one another.<br />
Student: Yeah, you can all suck my dick!<br />
<br />
<b>Second week of class</b><br />
Student hits another in the hallway<br />
Edigator: Hey, we are not behaving like that, we are nice to each other.<br />
Student: Fuck you, I don't speak Spanish.<br />
<br />
<b>Second week of class</b><br />
Teacher: What was your name?<br />
Edigator: Edigator.<br />
Teacher: Yeah, I'll never be able to pronunce it. I'll just call you Ms. E.<br />
Edigator: No, I don't think so.<br />
Teacher: ...<br />
<br />
<i>The edigator thought teaching Middle School was going to be more rewarding than working in Academia. It has a PhD from a Midwestern very White and Liberal-light
institution. It emigrated from Mexico 9 years ago and due to luck and a
gringo falling in love with its scalyness, it is also an American
citizen.</i>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-10617240196931969042017-09-23T08:43:00.000-07:002017-09-23T18:25:31.725-07:00Omaigod! You are so totally Frida Kahlo!I am going to start chronicling my experience as a Mexican teacher in a public school in the midwest, where most of the teachers are white beckies and most of the students (about 71%) are brown (mostly Mexicans or from Mexican parents) or black. There is another Mexican teacher, there are NO black teachers. Black staff are rule enforcers, they patrol the hallways with earpieces and catch the students being naughty. Naughty means breaking any rule.<br />
<br />
There are so many rules in the school I can't keep up. Hats are banned,
bra straps are banned, showing bellies is banned, saggy pants are banned, cell phones are banned,
no running in the hallways, slamming lockers, dragging chairs, cursing,
screaming, eating, having chromebooks without bags, leaving class, being
alone, standing up in certain places, in others it's ok. Talking in
certain places. Every room seems to have this particular set of
rules, every different hallway, every different set of stairs. (<span style="color: #38761d;">In addition to this country's already long set of rules set to
keep people in their places</span>). In this one room, students must keep hands on their desks and both feet on the floor at ALL times. ALL times. I don't even know how that is possible. <br />
<br />
A little bit of context. This city has been ranked as #1 WORST city to be black. A couple of years ago a cop shot a kid to death who was jaywalking and then ran home, he burst into his house kicking the door and shot him about 6 times. It was decided it was in "self defense".<br />
<br />
Unsupervised teenagers are not allowed in the malls, this is true for all colors of peoples but we all know who they are targeting. Also, hip hop music is banned from many establishments as well as people dressed with bandanas, saggy pants, white T-shirts, and anything that does not look like this:<br />
<img alt="Resultado de imagen para madison frat boys" class="irc_mi" height="375" src="https://i.pinimg.com/736x/35/56/39/355639973ab9a1d757d35c815e5f2052--prep-boys-southern-men.jpg" style="margin-top: 9px;" width="500" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
My brown students are mostly under-performing. They don't want to read or write. The first week started out with them being very rude and insulting me. They stole my glasses and probably flushed them down the toilet. I have not been paid in about a year, so new glasses will have to wait. A becky teacher suggested to not worry about them, it's their culture. <span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>"Their parents don't care about them and that's the way they are treated at home, so it is what they know."</i></span> Urm, no.<br />
<br />
I have a couple of kids who are very very much at risk. Colleagues suggested to not waste any energy on them, <i><span style="color: #351c75;">"they are lost."</span></i> To focus on the ones who will succeed. I guess I am new and will have to learn the hard way. <br />
<br />
This third week, one of my Mexican students kicked a ball and hit a teacher during recess. This teacher told me the kid hit her twice and laughed about it. After investigating, the kids were playing soccer (<span style="color: #38761d;">which they do at every single minute of free time they have</span>), if you are near them the ball might land next to you or on you. This is true for all nations. However, this teacher was giving her back to the game and another Mexican kid hit her the first time, then this other kid the second time. In neither of the two incidents it was a hard hit. The kids, however, made fun of the second kicker because he missed the pass, got the ball out of play, AND hit the teacher. The teacher thought they were laughing at her and she couldn't distinguish it had been two different kids.<br />
<br />
Now, I do think the kids should be more aware of their surroundings and not hit teachers or other people, but I also think becky is showing her true colors. She is afraid of them, she thinks they are doing this intentionally, that they are meaner, eviler, and less kids than they are. She is very angry at them because she thinks they are targeting her. The kids were playing ball. She wants the kicker suspended.<br />
<br />
Yesterday one teacher called me Frida because I was wearing a skirt and had my hair up. I guess all Mexican women look like Frida Kahlo? At least the stereotype wasn't Speedy Gonzales, so yay? Another one asked me if that was the way I really dress or... Yes, to all, this is how I dress. Yes, I wear braids, have black hair, use skirts, have hand embroidered blouses, have thick eyebrows, YES! YES! I AM MEXICAN! YES! We all look the same to you. I get it. Thank you for the reminder.<br />
<br />
<img alt="Resultado de imagen para frida kahlo" class="irc_mi" height="393" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCjhisURV-GJUXY_OGnJ_8WQosHJUHLn97D9dxAY5p02d2OnmLpnjinMYfB2SlzmIkugcnBmjVT8ey_LYKAsYtm-C_HSOotcw85uHB4T_UK8A-10f_31zQwoogvIlv6ooSnHI7Wb9UoYw/s1600/Frida+Kahlo,+1930s-40s+(1).jpg" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="300" /><br />
<br />
Two days ago some beckies invited me out for drinks. I am exhausted, beckies. I am at school for 11 hours dealing with your micro and macro aggressions, I do not want to have a beer with you.<br />
<br />
This is week 3.<br />
<br />
<i>The edigator has a PhD from a Midwestern very White and Liberal-light institution. She emigrated from Mexico 9 years ago and due to luck and a gringo falling in love with her scalyness, she is also an American citizen.</i>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-11873518823497075462014-06-12T10:52:00.003-07:002014-06-12T10:53:54.327-07:00Mexican in Wisconsin: level brat<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Para español, goteé <a href="http://edythe.blogspot.com/2014/06/mexicana-en-wisconsin-nivel-bratts.html">aquí</a></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="ES">I don't really have to explain what a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bratwurst">bratwurst </a>is to people who speak English, but for those who might not know, it is a sausage and is very typical in USA's Midwest. </span></div>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES">Anywho, once you arrive to Wisconsin you start to learn that people will never ask "<i><span style="color: blue;">Do you like brats?</span></i>", but rather "<span style="color: blue;"><i style="font-weight: bold;">HOW </i>do you like your brats?</span>"</span></div>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
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This is they way I prepare them.</div>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ES"><b>Step 1</b>. Bacon <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXDDkzHIbUzIEmSjBdg62RN53HZb9PsLu2pAhpbO-7gGeZsjn3Bwy5onQmkBGVOy-_JutSapvF_PK_VeuqtVPRRH6KEMUyZk4QDBxMkGhRELG_UcW1qrtYryOyUlpKgjgVTQi26Np822W8/s1600/bratt+y+beicon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXDDkzHIbUzIEmSjBdg62RN53HZb9PsLu2pAhpbO-7gGeZsjn3Bwy5onQmkBGVOy-_JutSapvF_PK_VeuqtVPRRH6KEMUyZk4QDBxMkGhRELG_UcW1qrtYryOyUlpKgjgVTQi26Np822W8/s1600/bratt+y+beicon.jpg" height="297" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><i><span style="color: #274e13;">yup, bacon</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span lang="ES"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES"><b>Step 2.</b> Wrap it around the brat<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizz9Jq_GdhRwMZQ-dJmLR57vdC3sx8BD_uPXdzHDUJqRgXnFzoSRMiHmgC1DzFOtXQDe8CUrL-x0KKVYiKHDXc2T7xY4li8dHFNZFMt_CDZy1WXGZSdrWt-i5MAFFbv5iul1LJTxU8i7JQ/s1600/bratt+y+beicon+envuelto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizz9Jq_GdhRwMZQ-dJmLR57vdC3sx8BD_uPXdzHDUJqRgXnFzoSRMiHmgC1DzFOtXQDe8CUrL-x0KKVYiKHDXc2T7xY4li8dHFNZFMt_CDZy1WXGZSdrWt-i5MAFFbv5iul1LJTxU8i7JQ/s1600/bratt+y+beicon+envuelto.jpg" height="308" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><i><span style="color: #274e13;">See? They love each other</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ES"><b>Step 3</b>. Cook (<i><span style="color: #274e13;">either grill or stove-top, you can add a splash of beer</span></i>)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIMjNYJF4I84bHQBTdUp-mxBLdDUgTef27QZJpJHZmbO8Yd_GRLyon0xbNH-f8LLVPN3v6QYY7oQAL9v1xLMgR0J0t_Q0hX-H5ZXhf12XkfzugXBEgSCLnghUcuuFVc_1hRY82eG4A4UUS/s1600/envuelto+en+sart%C3%A9n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIMjNYJF4I84bHQBTdUp-mxBLdDUgTef27QZJpJHZmbO8Yd_GRLyon0xbNH-f8LLVPN3v6QYY7oQAL9v1xLMgR0J0t_Q0hX-H5ZXhf12XkfzugXBEgSCLnghUcuuFVc_1hRY82eG4A4UUS/s1600/envuelto+en+sart%C3%A9n.jpg" height="230" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><i>Cook it good</i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES"><b>Step 4</b>. Grab a tortilla and heat it up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1JwRfV3b73lKBCVMro-tfP-xS2BJvWYncvNb9y_Po2Y71-WF8zy9BJRayOzKWsZk6gqmIbU27Q7CouUsssZZWi-y6sM14C4H5dE1V255pNvSnTqBOVFW71CydccBFNrc1Iufi07j_xyU2/s1600/comal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1JwRfV3b73lKBCVMro-tfP-xS2BJvWYncvNb9y_Po2Y71-WF8zy9BJRayOzKWsZk6gqmIbU27Q7CouUsssZZWi-y6sM14C4H5dE1V255pNvSnTqBOVFW71CydccBFNrc1Iufi07j_xyU2/s1600/comal.jpg" height="207" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><i>That is a comal, you can use a pan</i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ES">Mexicans usually eat their tortillas hot, try it once.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Instructions for heating up tortilla:</b> If the pan is already hot, you put them in the pan and then flip them, when they rise they are ready, about 30 seconds total.</span></div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzy9AxluCn48wdO9irmpoqjbU8x1y5UPkg2SxdEGPP25UsLNbj-bDFLHEHaN75Z6H7suBhYd11eDqM8hvybYIXKcV6beIBBLe12jXuvAhNOvNpTvP76E4QXarVvmQ0MXxytw_Xt8WOq_wZ/s1600/comal2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzy9AxluCn48wdO9irmpoqjbU8x1y5UPkg2SxdEGPP25UsLNbj-bDFLHEHaN75Z6H7suBhYd11eDqM8hvybYIXKcV6beIBBLe12jXuvAhNOvNpTvP76E4QXarVvmQ0MXxytw_Xt8WOq_wZ/s1600/comal2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><i>Tortilla rising</i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ES"><b>Step 5</b>. It puts the brat in the tortilla<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEJCuRbqbxea7oYeO6nuIgRngxlhUJ0fCU-D9FR0JaxzYdklghie-hD2TOyXeIoxo9k_BQ40SYT6FB1iqx1qHZ3et_uJHsxBWWKFlcRQf8EARjmpPzjvxGld7kUaQ81bV8Vx4Vajbhetph/s1600/cooked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEJCuRbqbxea7oYeO6nuIgRngxlhUJ0fCU-D9FR0JaxzYdklghie-hD2TOyXeIoxo9k_BQ40SYT6FB1iqx1qHZ3et_uJHsxBWWKFlcRQf8EARjmpPzjvxGld7kUaQ81bV8Vx4Vajbhetph/s1600/cooked.jpg" height="314" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><i><span style="color: #274e13;">I like it burnt</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES"><b>Step 6</b>. Mustard it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSHBXOfKXtFGirM6WejINo5P4KbiCEGN6MxoIoDG2Whej5CuEzyeVPgqnog71fF4lcoMLqYmbOviaRYHnoiHzg_010_C2j5tcBole-8hf5Bg6Z8EOU9obPl3MlZ-8zurfmkUSkfa0O5NWM/s1600/mostaza.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSHBXOfKXtFGirM6WejINo5P4KbiCEGN6MxoIoDG2Whej5CuEzyeVPgqnog71fF4lcoMLqYmbOviaRYHnoiHzg_010_C2j5tcBole-8hf5Bg6Z8EOU9obPl3MlZ-8zurfmkUSkfa0O5NWM/s1600/mostaza.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><i>You add normal amount</i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Add the rest of your condiments</b>. I did not have anything else, so I put salsa. I usually stick some sliced jalapeños there.</div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUwPzBqAG2JDNeNjL0EZgz6JWBHV25pHxIRkNa-uIlH8b4Y-ktiNMEJQIdzx5XEeFzCnP4_HaNVfimXbxSdCSzIPgrEYoquXSxwumEGRGYn5tit4E0qgvo0eZEsQo38YmaZOsH8BvF5jPo/s1600/IMG_0520.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUwPzBqAG2JDNeNjL0EZgz6JWBHV25pHxIRkNa-uIlH8b4Y-ktiNMEJQIdzx5XEeFzCnP4_HaNVfimXbxSdCSzIPgrEYoquXSxwumEGRGYn5tit4E0qgvo0eZEsQo38YmaZOsH8BvF5jPo/s1600/IMG_0520.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><i><span style="color: #274e13;">Careful, it is illegal to add ketchup to a brat, no laws about salsa, though</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES"><b>Step 7</b>. Roll it up, eat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQBV1j8WSeEZXREuK7zySb1MPvM3epN0QOvGjL9wH0tDVqFrMwnciTfHVJ1BP04iZJPvrft_5_1-exEEXjE4bW_zdAyV7sLdz-lE0tlJCCKHEdjAwW3peJ5IMkz3AX2hUcnlRsjCqDE7Km/s1600/taco.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQBV1j8WSeEZXREuK7zySb1MPvM3epN0QOvGjL9wH0tDVqFrMwnciTfHVJ1BP04iZJPvrft_5_1-exEEXjE4bW_zdAyV7sLdz-lE0tlJCCKHEdjAwW3peJ5IMkz3AX2hUcnlRsjCqDE7Km/s1600/taco.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><i>And this is a brat taco!</i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span lang="ES"><br /></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="ES"><b>Enjoy!</b></span></div>
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<span lang="ES"><b><br /></b></span></div>
Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-57243888546977928852012-02-04T11:16:00.000-08:002012-02-04T11:16:50.481-08:00Safety for Mexico CitySo, you are going to visit Mexico City... and that is wonderful. But it is a big city, a huge city, and tourists usually stick out. Either because they do not know how to wade around the city and expect another country and culture to tailor to their own very specific needs or because they look like this:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIteniEy_rXbO5JXYGZ08EObPXZHsNSexic01GySoWj5CdH772ozwpsnNgC8enVySWjuOHoAL3S52E4HMtw1SrhFQNrnxiVUePJpwkYRIZFko6YJIKbndHlDvuqfdEGQAg496gE6tOL-w/s1600/Tacky-Tourist-Costume.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIteniEy_rXbO5JXYGZ08EObPXZHsNSexic01GySoWj5CdH772ozwpsnNgC8enVySWjuOHoAL3S52E4HMtw1SrhFQNrnxiVUePJpwkYRIZFko6YJIKbndHlDvuqfdEGQAg496gE6tOL-w/s320/Tacky-Tourist-Costume.jpg" width="253" /></a></div><br />
So, in order to make the most of your visit, I have made a list of Safety Tips to make your stay a pleasant one. I am sure most of you already know this (if you have been to any big city in the world), but here we have, the basics:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"><b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Movement<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"></div><ul><li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Only get in taxi cabs called from a taxi station (called </span><i style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">sitios</i><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">, they phone a taxi for you), never stop a taxi in the street.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Negotiate ahead of time the fare (unless it is fixed or with a taxímetro), ask “</span><i style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">cuánto sale para X”.</i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Don´t leave the window down. Lock the doors when you are in the car/cab.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not pull out maps in the street (even in the car/cab).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Don’t walk in the streets at night (except in Coyoacán, and only in lighted areas).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Don´t walk and talk on the phone.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Ask the hotel if there are any dangerous streets near the hotel, avoid them.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Avoid catcalls, ignore them.</span></li>
</ul><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"><b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Money<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"></div><ul><li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Always carry about 20-50 dollars, if you get mugged give them that immediately, do not look at them.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Never use an ATM on the street, use the ones inside stores or malls.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not go into an ATM alone, if someone is there, wait outside. Once inside, lock the door. If you see anyone hanging out outside, do not enter. Leave your companion outside to watch out for you.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Distribute cash among your pockets, do not keep it all in one place (or get a money belt/pouch).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not carry huge amounts of cash.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not pay with debit card or credit card, it might get cloned. Use cash. (except maybe the hotel)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Pay with pesos, dollars will be taken at the lowest they were that month according to the banks. They will usually never give change in dollars.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Tipping is expected with almost everything, think on average 10 pesos, on food 15-20%.</span></li>
</ul><b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Passport</span></b><br />
<ul><li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not carry your passport on you, use the safety deposit box in the hotel. Carry a photocopy.</span></li>
</ul><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"><b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Yourself<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"></div><ul><li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not use gold or jewelry, nothing shiny. If you are wearing a stone ring, turn the stone inside.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">If you take your rings out when you wash your hands, if someone uses the next sink, move the rings.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not wear flashy clothes.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not leave purse or backpack out of your sight (do not hang your purse/backpack on the seat, put it in the table).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">If you need help, do not ask a policeman, go to the nearest store and ask for help from the people working there.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">If a policeman says you did something and is going to fine you, ask for his/her badge and write it down. Then say you are calling the American Embassy, if they continue, call the embassy. Never go with him/her anywhere (s/he might not be a police officer).</span></li>
</ul><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"><b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Druglords<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"></div><ul><li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Do not speak in public or in taxis positively or negatively about the insecurity, violence, criminal activity, etc. Someone might not agree.</span></li>
</ul><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"><b style="font-size: small; line-height: 14px;">TLDR: Don't flash your money around, don't act stupid, do not expect the police to help you. Enjoy yourself!</b></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-41062162985807053842012-01-29T12:06:00.002-08:002012-01-29T12:06:24.206-08:00Madison Fountain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdWmEOAkFSKLGdLFLJhIurm4kUZ6oNqXP_6xyETQiNGFOJpM7pn65Q37_w60zz-428XrhZWgimszUvsA_id5aCUltPx1Krq4U5k0veWNLUIeUsnGqe1K_rlmYONhnUFJrWBpHn_ycmJgU/s1600/wisconsin-state-capitol-madison-wi003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdWmEOAkFSKLGdLFLJhIurm4kUZ6oNqXP_6xyETQiNGFOJpM7pn65Q37_w60zz-428XrhZWgimszUvsA_id5aCUltPx1Krq4U5k0veWNLUIeUsnGqe1K_rlmYONhnUFJrWBpHn_ycmJgU/s400/wisconsin-state-capitol-madison-wi003.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-79017184611283561022012-01-29T12:06:00.000-08:002012-01-29T12:06:08.328-08:00Madison Fountain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdWmEOAkFSKLGdLFLJhIurm4kUZ6oNqXP_6xyETQiNGFOJpM7pn65Q37_w60zz-428XrhZWgimszUvsA_id5aCUltPx1Krq4U5k0veWNLUIeUsnGqe1K_rlmYONhnUFJrWBpHn_ycmJgU/s1600/wisconsin-state-capitol-madison-wi003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdWmEOAkFSKLGdLFLJhIurm4kUZ6oNqXP_6xyETQiNGFOJpM7pn65Q37_w60zz-428XrhZWgimszUvsA_id5aCUltPx1Krq4U5k0veWNLUIeUsnGqe1K_rlmYONhnUFJrWBpHn_ycmJgU/s400/wisconsin-state-capitol-madison-wi003.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-91701318071380742162012-01-09T13:01:00.000-08:002012-01-09T13:14:19.458-08:00Myths of the Mayan Calendar<div class="MsoNormal">If you are here it is probably because you are using non-Mayan iconography to talk about the Mayas and some of your very concerned friends<i><span style="color: #274e13;"> (who certainly love you and don’t want to continue seeing you making an idiot of yourself)</span></i> sent you here.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">There are three important aspects of the Mayan Culture that you should know.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1. The Mayas are a culture in Latin America <i><span style="color: #274e13;">(south of Mexico, north of Guatemala and Belice, El Salvador and Honduras) </span></i>which started in the year 500 b.C. and continues up to now. And yes, the Mayas are still very much around <a href="http://www.criscenzo.com/jaguarsun/mayanow.html">today</a>. Though because of the conquest <i><span style="color: #274e13;">(which happened around 1500</span></i>) they abandoned the great cities and lost most of the traditional scientific research. They did this because the Spaniards were keen on torturing, maiming, raping, enslaving people, pillaging cities and burning books.<o:p></o:p></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWZntGIWfUEZdSWc57DxYUcyWXy8BDHglipY4H7fptkVsG7-240SaM7paEqIP27F7NpJCek3oJYyQFud4raYxlwWq39weu7NdT1HiJtYRruPDaxw8c1E3lzwLi28W0Xwq1SJk4M6PIUeU/s1600/maya+city.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWZntGIWfUEZdSWc57DxYUcyWXy8BDHglipY4H7fptkVsG7-240SaM7paEqIP27F7NpJCek3oJYyQFud4raYxlwWq39weu7NdT1HiJtYRruPDaxw8c1E3lzwLi28W0Xwq1SJk4M6PIUeU/s320/maya+city.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Maya City would have looked like this about 600 years ago</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">It would be the equivalent of some aliens coming and starting to probing and dismember the members of sororities and frat houses while burning all the libraries and replacing internet with 24 hours of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHoZRr1dvOo">infomercials</a>. The culture in the USA might still survive after this, but the knowledge probably might be dispersed.<o:p></o:p></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlDroGFf9hbfMo5gjaTarKVZI6WYb5tXhIKh8PQF5V-_WeKPHN0M_vU3WnsQkbxpiF5TBPThy5L8fImbZ4hsfLG3iAerjwSPQunilN_d2j_G71BSZEhn_TIRjMQIi_WyjJYPQPxnzqfRY/s1600/maya+USA+city.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlDroGFf9hbfMo5gjaTarKVZI6WYb5tXhIKh8PQF5V-_WeKPHN0M_vU3WnsQkbxpiF5TBPThy5L8fImbZ4hsfLG3iAerjwSPQunilN_d2j_G71BSZEhn_TIRjMQIi_WyjJYPQPxnzqfRY/s320/maya+USA+city.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mmm... Rat burgers</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">2. The Mayas were great astronomers and mathematicians, their calculations about orbits, meteor showers, Sun, Moon and Venus eclipses, and other cosmological phenomena are still more exact than the calendar we use in Western Civilization. And it so happens that the Mayas “predicted” and end of a period to happen in the Winter Solstice 2012, and they talk about it here, in the Stelae 6:<o:p></o:p></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3l9o8ZRhlS8EIh3Cl2YqfHFV2pyJn5CCTfioSI_fteof1TNBIFZ1wknTqhIvisy1Cz9Bwa-a7qp3cXrOkhyphenhyphenipPEsEpvo3Q1FMzUItnNYhq3rGPzpqIeFGTIRgfovIetL1RA-cjR7U0bc/s1600/estela+maya+6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3l9o8ZRhlS8EIh3Cl2YqfHFV2pyJn5CCTfioSI_fteof1TNBIFZ1wknTqhIvisy1Cz9Bwa-a7qp3cXrOkhyphenhyphenipPEsEpvo3Q1FMzUItnNYhq3rGPzpqIeFGTIRgfovIetL1RA-cjR7U0bc/s320/estela+maya+6.JPG" width="116" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some interpretations <a href="http://decipherment.wordpress.com/2011/10/04/more-on-tortugueros-monument-6-and-the-prophecy-that-wasnt/">here</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">3. This, however, is the Sun Stone, from the Aztec civilization. </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJrALFNAOVWDDn0NJ0Yz5jty9_BhIu8l-XCc2eI77Qod5ZMNqVJ4nen91drBPMQqaP64amEXNTByQ3ydBc6G-tvWgRklz747wVJvtKtE44-r00yRsAMtXU6MaA7yH7Mehc3JHwYVhlfB8/s1600/piedradelsol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJrALFNAOVWDDn0NJ0Yz5jty9_BhIu8l-XCc2eI77Qod5ZMNqVJ4nen91drBPMQqaP64amEXNTByQ3ydBc6G-tvWgRklz747wVJvtKtE44-r00yRsAMtXU6MaA7yH7Mehc3JHwYVhlfB8/s320/piedradelsol.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small; text-align: -webkit-auto;">It was probably used as a table by an Aztec priest</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It is not a calendar, though it does contains elements of the Aztec calendar, mythology, and cardinal points. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The Aztecs believed that if you stopped feeding human hearts to the gods, the Sun would stay underground during the night and never come out again.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So if you talk about the Mayan calendar like so:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLiWhKqcztb6szHXNWDj-16OK8fNs6bpKRJLVNFTP8ADaZwm_6RU_JGZ2ZovOaAwxUfDgtdgvSrBGkYWTchSKxq8_8-TkIVOaIBHe2TLLxywYOC36TpyxcHuI5IHVnzr-PvLMVEBGE-I/s1600/calendario+maya1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLiWhKqcztb6szHXNWDj-16OK8fNs6bpKRJLVNFTP8ADaZwm_6RU_JGZ2ZovOaAwxUfDgtdgvSrBGkYWTchSKxq8_8-TkIVOaIBHe2TLLxywYOC36TpyxcHuI5IHVnzr-PvLMVEBGE-I/s1600/calendario+maya1.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It would be the same as googling Eiffel Tower and getting this:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw4ViIGCLJpx9jIlQ8JmvcAed214ub54TZqEOJ9Fr-9jKNwXiKj8JAe9mDeWwKFrRbZWq5YrLPWmESOixlB6jrLYjn3ts7Ca5uXgMk6CmzA9CIZjRUc_8LCDaalI1d0hsqVWD28KWZvAM/s1600/maya+eiffel+tower.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw4ViIGCLJpx9jIlQ8JmvcAed214ub54TZqEOJ9Fr-9jKNwXiKj8JAe9mDeWwKFrRbZWq5YrLPWmESOixlB6jrLYjn3ts7Ca5uXgMk6CmzA9CIZjRUc_8LCDaalI1d0hsqVWD28KWZvAM/s640/maya+eiffel+tower.png" width="640" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-65861479569263435452010-12-05T12:56:00.000-08:002010-12-05T12:56:20.977-08:00Doctors and doctorsPara español, diagnostique <a href="http://edythe.blogspot.com/2010/12/doctores.html">aquí</a>.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRtju8DpuNVK5Dwonl7rBtDN3qhqf2DHy9MGeCbf9wxsgdDldpKH91_Vz1rIt2-gIiI1ylo6inv58PAWgv0SUY_BUGbFFdCsAIpXv5yL2aOMuTvai1tLisXiIsdTh4ptnqa7WLUKNiM9E/s1600/doctors_eng1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRtju8DpuNVK5Dwonl7rBtDN3qhqf2DHy9MGeCbf9wxsgdDldpKH91_Vz1rIt2-gIiI1ylo6inv58PAWgv0SUY_BUGbFFdCsAIpXv5yL2aOMuTvai1tLisXiIsdTh4ptnqa7WLUKNiM9E/s400/doctors_eng1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Inspired by Gary <a href="http://timpyles.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/a-lucky-night-for-goldy.jpg?w=371&h=480">Larson</a>.</span><br />
Dedicated to Dr. Lucha.Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-59383271352134805172010-02-21T13:55:00.000-08:002010-02-21T14:03:44.037-08:00Birth of (a) Sport<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CEdith%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:relyonvml/> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CEdith%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CEdith%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> 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{page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">After hours of viewing the <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Winter_Olympics">Winter Olympics</a> I couldn´t help but wonder about the origins of certain practiced sports. By watching displays of strength, dexterity and movements, one in particular caught my attention because it definitely reminded me of something:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6-JWRrlusUE4rT7DA0Ycd3o_60ehyphenhyphenyAqLwzUQWFkVAyRQDAPZ_bgXz-4jTaKvnKVEEXj_WoGEenDNf2jB2smwI5qgTGydpwhcN_5nkJJKZrPHj3xDDR6CLytkfZ143l1f4UVCJ4jjCy4/s1600-h/hockey+ingles.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 330px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6-JWRrlusUE4rT7DA0Ycd3o_60ehyphenhyphenyAqLwzUQWFkVAyRQDAPZ_bgXz-4jTaKvnKVEEXj_WoGEenDNf2jB2smwI5qgTGydpwhcN_5nkJJKZrPHj3xDDR6CLytkfZ143l1f4UVCJ4jjCy4/s400/hockey+ingles.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440819235343932194" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-75749634176331100902010-02-13T14:09:00.001-08:002010-02-14T07:44:59.309-08:00Mujeres aladas (o mujeres saladas)<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">Yeah, right!!!</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Ya parece que voy a poner mi cuento favorito<br /> en la red para dominio público.<br />Lo siento, esto no es wikipedia.<br />Y por eso, la gente seguirá usando libros con hojas.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.<br /></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-2313391064533430692010-02-13T09:44:00.000-08:002010-02-13T11:33:57.315-08:00Traducción de los alburesJai<a href="http://www.tubabel.com/definicion/3736-mecos"><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">me Cos</span></a>techo: <span style="font-style: italic;">Mecos </span>es una palabra utilizada en México para designar al <span style="font-style: italic;">semen</span>. <span style="font-style: italic;">Techo</span>, al verbalizarlo suena a<span style="font-style: italic;"> "Te echo"</span>. La idea de <span style="font-style: italic;">"Semen te echo"</span> o "<span style="font-style: italic;">te echo semen</span>" tiene un sentido que se refiere a un acto sexual donde el activo ejerce la penetración sobre el pasivo.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Todo </span>el juego del <a href="http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albur_%28paronomasia%29">albur mexicano</a> consiste en una competencia verbal sobre el rol en una relación sexual. Siempre uno debe ejercer el rol "activo", el de la penetración.<br />Por lo tanto, todos los elementos falicos (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">pene, palo, largo, verga, escoba, chile, plátano, camote, carne, trozo, salchicha, tronco)</span> deben insertarse (<span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">darse, meterse, ponerse, encajarse, embarrar</span>).<br />Durante el producto de la inserción pueden suceder dos cosas, si insertados en el ano el pene puede humedecerse (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">empapar, mojar</span>) y se sacan (<span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">retiran, jalan</span>) elementos parecidos al excremento (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">chocolate, lodo, frijoles, barro</span>); si insertados en la vagina puede ocurrir un embarazo (<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">engordar, con producto, con relleno</span>). La alusión a la ingestión del semen (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">mecos, leche, blanco</span>) o de colocar semen en alguien, también es parte de las prestezas del activo.<br />Cualquier alusión a la pasividad del encuentro sexual debe evitarse. El ofrecer el ano es el tabú mayor, por lo tanto cualquier cosa que aluda al ano (<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">el pedorro, el hoyo, el orificio, el ojo, anillo, nalgas, pompas, culo, ...</span>) debe evitarse. Asímismo se evita también cualquier actividad que exponga el ano (<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">sentarse, ponerse, ofrecer, dar</span>).<br />Por último, otros tipos de actividad sexual, como el sexo oral, funcionan bajo la misma premisa. Elementos relacionados con la boca (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">chupar, mascar, morder, succionar, lamer, salivar, mamar</span>) deben de estar alejados de metáforas del pene. Porque implican el elemento de pasividad.<br /><br />Entonces, el <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255); font-weight: bold;">primer </span>punto es el siguiente: <span style="font-weight: bold;">se permite el juego sexual siempre y cuando la penetración sea </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">ejercida </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">y no </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">recibida</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">.</span><br /><br /><br />El <span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204); font-weight: bold;">segundo </span>punto es que:<span style="font-weight: bold;"> no se puede aludir directamente al juego.</span> Todo debe ser velado y parecer parte de una conversación <span style="font-style: italic;">normal</span>. Por lo tanto se usan metáforas, comparaciones y palabras que suenan similares (<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">"pollo" por "hoyo", por ejemplo)</span><br /><br />El <span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204); font-weight: bold;">tercer </span>punto es que: <span style="font-weight: bold;">quien no puede responder, pierde.</span><br /><br />Así que...<br />recomienda para una buena cena una carne alzada a la barbilla (<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">osea, carne/pene colocado a la altura de la boca</span>) o los frijoles de api-zaco (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">sacar excremento, ver arriba). </span>Recuerden, los tacos saben mejor con chile hecho (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">echar chil<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">e</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">/pene</span>) en México. Ahora, préstenme (<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">prestar, alude a entregar el ano</span>) atención con sus consejos; dice que los Chiles en Vinagre se conservan bien en barro (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">chile/pene embarro</span>) , al igual que los plátanos en cajones (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">plátano encajar, pene entrar</span>). En cambio el lomo se descompone (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">poner el lomo</span>) cuando está lloviendo (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">cuando estallo, o cuando tengo un orgasmo</span>) .<br /><br />Etcétera.<br />Espero que les haya sido de provecho.Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-86422390010415451702010-02-13T09:28:00.000-08:002010-02-13T09:31:22.109-08:00Plagio Plagio Plagio<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizSVZV1lwJMjyBAFG3THlrzWfBZXgE5BlcHk3cvVmJJemU9TbRadU6YO5mt2SfUyKFyrPwZVE4MQLmWe67gLj4p6_twU3-XDOdx_rQ-2QUz1YzdOp3b-6pL3dQipUZkZBIpUgjZVB-X9s/s1600-h/plagioobsceno.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 301px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizSVZV1lwJMjyBAFG3THlrzWfBZXgE5BlcHk3cvVmJJemU9TbRadU6YO5mt2SfUyKFyrPwZVE4MQLmWe67gLj4p6_twU3-XDOdx_rQ-2QUz1YzdOp3b-6pL3dQipUZkZBIpUgjZVB-X9s/s400/plagioobsceno.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437781510297395058" /></a>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-39636612991135226782010-01-08T18:43:00.000-08:002010-01-08T18:59:27.087-08:00Efficiency<div>The man ponders about the size of the one that got away. </div><div> </div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5424569043377992370" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 282px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCpZpr_VEHBTpi3D07XEbNli94CSBsIHHkm1Q-tcg-nKr9b6Zf222UY0VZYFRRXeG9Mp5sUi2VTjDc8aCNh1yvOiMAAoHLMSgvoPQkWnOnj0CJt5bPHHoUoYxbExr3yOFqTNTG410kkYI/s400/policiaAsi.JPG" border="0" /></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-53208878293245085542009-12-25T16:21:00.000-08:002009-12-25T16:31:52.529-08:00We all want to be victims<span style="">This human inability to register that other people can suffer has driven us to define “<span style="font-style: italic;">justice</span>” as the perfect excuse to extinguish the person that looks-at-me-the-wrong-way. From the first baby utterances of the “<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">he did it!</span>” to the “<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">but I was only following orders</span>”, humans have found ways to justify their horrors, massacres and genocides. All under the egotistical vision of “<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102); font-style: italic;">but my intentions were good…</span>” or even worse, “<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">but I am the good guy! I was only defending myself</span>”<o:p></o:p></span> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">The worst part is that people are not essentially evil, it is just that they have their heads so high up in their own asses that they are unable to realize that their stupid good intentions has turned them into ghastly monsters.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">Here is a nice historical collection of self proclaimed victims:<br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgChLY-oum234knrVUsa_8jf1ju4wcQtQJa7Wypj81lqM8SXzWpk9ySSsTdAnyA5Pm22LtXX2jy3MVgfeOyJuazzayy0vJB8kvCVm8v0yxc4uM2UnUBAlOYVnlqHf4cIoI-L-M877IE7y8/s1600-h/cain_eng.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgChLY-oum234knrVUsa_8jf1ju4wcQtQJa7Wypj81lqM8SXzWpk9ySSsTdAnyA5Pm22LtXX2jy3MVgfeOyJuazzayy0vJB8kvCVm8v0yxc4uM2UnUBAlOYVnlqHf4cIoI-L-M877IE7y8/s400/cain_eng.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419335198587154498" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK5cQKjiT4HWJKHmbyK0exGw16pU6svizuABVb_Y-NcleZK0SWvY5T7ZkgrQcAPfzvME-uhLwEIIql-hmbNRTT-V75jHn5c1xji3xNU6HiTsgW1_90V4CQzxXwD6Fobv0IjiA3RyZHzlY/s1600-h/brujas_eng.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 393px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK5cQKjiT4HWJKHmbyK0exGw16pU6svizuABVb_Y-NcleZK0SWvY5T7ZkgrQcAPfzvME-uhLwEIIql-hmbNRTT-V75jHn5c1xji3xNU6HiTsgW1_90V4CQzxXwD6Fobv0IjiA3RyZHzlY/s400/brujas_eng.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419335119079181602" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX9f6uYkeWOsJ4e-Y7Ye_u45uHJ727aYl74FtOTlTlVDXC-qF_DbT3yBU3RaKW85NRGO1L4DE053UiS-D5jd9A5VOmhxuYZa_nCJVKgHkCXH5HgG7pjJ8uTr6gKIavN3-1HuPBrSmXmZU/s1600-h/america_eng.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 338px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX9f6uYkeWOsJ4e-Y7Ye_u45uHJ727aYl74FtOTlTlVDXC-qF_DbT3yBU3RaKW85NRGO1L4DE053UiS-D5jd9A5VOmhxuYZa_nCJVKgHkCXH5HgG7pjJ8uTr6gKIavN3-1HuPBrSmXmZU/s400/america_eng.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419334469031327090" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYHqL0u8bYYZ-LW-Bxv0Ad1nQDUG6hfd7s5Gvo3iNMIuRZQVkh3ByhY888CM9dJ5uRn9qngfRqDHy4E3aaL1SdGIda1MpaUctyIqb6iDP_CCM__kZPm7aj9a2qsfusMdP0ewv9sfU71Vg/s1600-h/juden_eng.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 334px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYHqL0u8bYYZ-LW-Bxv0Ad1nQDUG6hfd7s5Gvo3iNMIuRZQVkh3ByhY888CM9dJ5uRn9qngfRqDHy4E3aaL1SdGIda1MpaUctyIqb6iDP_CCM__kZPm7aj9a2qsfusMdP0ewv9sfU71Vg/s400/juden_eng.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419335506309817890" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtGpaRThvnuPyyNVvy3Gqgj8MVeBmo_N95mV_v4jRWYlVtXaASDUeDari9X0DTtRXS8xjxIQH3SiJWeoniXVYvMpYiWo-zulSD-gocpH8NvJfmsdNi0pYbK2i8jKyuK2Ci1_6ren0Qu4Q/s1600-h/gringos_eng.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 348px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtGpaRThvnuPyyNVvy3Gqgj8MVeBmo_N95mV_v4jRWYlVtXaASDUeDari9X0DTtRXS8xjxIQH3SiJWeoniXVYvMpYiWo-zulSD-gocpH8NvJfmsdNi0pYbK2i8jKyuK2Ci1_6ren0Qu4Q/s400/gringos_eng.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419335417507259618" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2vHAcgyPStqN4wpi9GWgUjGzTsFIFsTGA8BHK77Jvhi3hdeF8tTfY9dfI-S0zMBu0bc-WSgGyXSAXf2rIp5aybtI3iODE0xgGkgZAlhf0fzfktlSVPfkNqWpmS-fi2pJ2dHL0IropyYo/s1600-h/capitalism_eng.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 388px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2vHAcgyPStqN4wpi9GWgUjGzTsFIFsTGA8BHK77Jvhi3hdeF8tTfY9dfI-S0zMBu0bc-WSgGyXSAXf2rIp5aybtI3iODE0xgGkgZAlhf0fzfktlSVPfkNqWpmS-fi2pJ2dHL0IropyYo/s400/capitalism_eng.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419335305558356834" border="0" /></a>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-16664774631533297772009-09-03T13:53:00.000-07:002009-09-03T14:13:40.112-07:00Cats on walls<div> Everyone knows that cats control human thought. </div><div>This is the obvious reason for human activities toward cats: building fine sand boxes which are meticulously cleaned of dung and pee; brushing elusive fine hairs which will be lodged in human nostrils; buying expensive cat toys that will be discarded after 120 seconds; tending on to every possible cat need without any contemplation of own´s safety (<span style="color:#009900;">have you ever brushed a cat´s teeth?</span>). </div><div>There is absolutely no retribution: neither economic, nor emotional (<span style="color:#009900;">cats do not even recognize their humans</span>), nor physical. In other words, a cat is like an everlasting teenager. </div><div> </div><div>And when this dominance is mixed with creative activity, the product is a <strong>cat</strong>. This was proven after viewing some graffiti in Bogotá.<br /><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhinVtMm__sHQTD2PYOiafEYnKBdwmMSIZnqO8SDFsmryh7Cuy-jSoPsncw74fc89ShmodUF5J6tBgZtC8moFDwPbsyKaFbE4V9uRPEPp8zlnIbEijUHSWk14DRyBLYZRB4byKK8eSIAVk/s1600-h/gato3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377349190236629058" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhinVtMm__sHQTD2PYOiafEYnKBdwmMSIZnqO8SDFsmryh7Cuy-jSoPsncw74fc89ShmodUF5J6tBgZtC8moFDwPbsyKaFbE4V9uRPEPp8zlnIbEijUHSWk14DRyBLYZRB4byKK8eSIAVk/s400/gato3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTVuAGXhSrQuY0H1GnGUVqMKofB9jj1Y4uFCd1OisfZX-GcJNh_7pF9x-FE681mfOh0K1m6KGGMkDAwJj0GDkSFWmE7yko5aQhZsR4el2ITyv2ENl4e3OZwEwTu-vBBcK-RFPsEHdKyBg/s1600-h/gato2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377348580842925842" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTVuAGXhSrQuY0H1GnGUVqMKofB9jj1Y4uFCd1OisfZX-GcJNh_7pF9x-FE681mfOh0K1m6KGGMkDAwJj0GDkSFWmE7yko5aQhZsR4el2ITyv2ENl4e3OZwEwTu-vBBcK-RFPsEHdKyBg/s400/gato2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhINhUAI7G8We9Z-7TD7KRGprw3b4H4FRY3Gm8MhG6rN8B6iWFU2pJdAznTj1FFyhzwtPD0BwzrK-_u9FKG7tgHn-r9a6Tu2EEPL9e8sukHPU0PW1jumm4MmKHz7pjt8S9cIWJCxC_YWHk/s1600-h/gato1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377347886405771154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhINhUAI7G8We9Z-7TD7KRGprw3b4H4FRY3Gm8MhG6rN8B6iWFU2pJdAznTj1FFyhzwtPD0BwzrK-_u9FKG7tgHn-r9a6Tu2EEPL9e8sukHPU0PW1jumm4MmKHz7pjt8S9cIWJCxC_YWHk/s400/gato1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377350999567735618" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTpcZE7vni45YlJY_5sofpNeiJYM-dvXMO7Rvy2zq4Zc1Y7Mw0x8ThLB64SGglgIUDaaeiqvup8Mowbu-4eg3DtpUwVab6lRdaiDYvwtMbTFYogyvZGUjCVMGxas-DjzbDL5ij7pZQ_gs/s400/gato4.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377351557176249170" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZdayle-gw0I_WBiyo_vbFB4kTJcTGz4OzWRjtVFZPTskusmua6TgLQpED69pMaf6jVQ52ppcMwRqG1ycxE-6loIwy5xroB2h2JVh2aRJpTrQe3GyZV7axRISXkuNJiIGjm9SfN6Mh0lc/s400/gato5.jpg" border="0" /><br />meow!<br /><br /></div></div></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-77147498807407985332009-08-15T08:01:00.000-07:002009-08-15T08:10:28.522-07:00Bad titsSevilla. By trying to escape the sexual advances from a donkey owned by the local government, a cow fell to her death in San Roque. The cow´s owner insisted that the donkey was pursuing the cow with malicious carnal intent and this was the reason the cow plunged to her non-existance.<br />However, the response from the goverment was that the cow seduced the donkey, who is a healthy strong male, by displaying in an immoral manner her nakedness and her bra-less, jiggly, bare tits.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgndEJzJ_tOUZ5mc9d_53sj0P67YRFlESdJ9eZ1PvcPfwmNu29G5a-GU1vMJTJuoImcJJiBSuMEZX_2OpV1wjgBKXRdVbD7tnRps3XqFmmgH-yfL_hT1qxUJ5gzt4u3XF5yHxoS4f4KHnQ/s1600-h/vaccas+con+brasier.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 353px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgndEJzJ_tOUZ5mc9d_53sj0P67YRFlESdJ9eZ1PvcPfwmNu29G5a-GU1vMJTJuoImcJJiBSuMEZX_2OpV1wjgBKXRdVbD7tnRps3XqFmmgH-yfL_hT1qxUJ5gzt4u3XF5yHxoS4f4KHnQ/s400/vaccas+con+brasier.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370206891620777474" border="0" /></a><br />This could only happen in Spain.Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-87461037061592115822009-08-09T09:50:00.000-07:002009-08-09T10:02:43.442-07:00Of the pages fastened along one side and encased between protective covers<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> 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<w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:22.3pt; text-indent:-22.3pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:22.3pt; text-indent:-22.3pt;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:auto; mso-para-margin-left:22.3pt; text-indent:-22.3pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]-->I can understand that not everybody enjoys reading. I appreciate it rationally, I can comprehend that as the same way I can grasp that some individuals like peas, others BBQ sauce, and some just plainly detest texts. Sitting down with a book, opening it, going through the pages, I can see why it would be old fashioned and dreary. Nowadays books have some writing on the back part which summarizes what is inside, that is because most people are not even aware that one must open it for it to function.
<br />
<br />I could get the frustration of these people when confronted with a house filled with books: books on the bed, books on the floor, books in the bathroom, books by the door. I can understand one possible option is to throw the books away, since if they are correctly disposed of, they can easily be rescued by people that consider that private property on the floor is public property… that is what my old university did with antique books and that is how I got a 1830 Divine Comedy. On the other extreme we stumble on book burning, and that is quite exaggerated and produces global warming, it also tends to monogram the soul in such way that upon death one is taken directly to hell.
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<br />But please, do tell me if it is not justified to cut your partner´s balls off if after arriving home from work, tired, stressed, hungry, and you are met upon the door with a smiling, radiant, joyous significant other that shows you this:
<br />
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id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368008762968109554" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.offbeatearth.com/dont-like-reading-other-uses-for-books/">source</a></p> Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-25570431032112065872009-08-01T20:14:00.001-07:002009-08-01T20:17:57.696-07:00Cyborg Generation<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXHk7rG6AMzXRt26V7xIPWSU-OTU0AqKZUCxk1G7xfmsMfN1GTCl_5TiaWto3euqqkn2DYgFTDtL6SXkNt7X1sNvsdwVYlPztYpNLrjQ3Ox6QzdI_VIQDD-9cdkOkDo8IfFuGIijg5x0s/s1600-h/mijo2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 494px; height: 403px;" 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Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Zombies </span>are reanimated corpses. A corpse is a dead human being, if it comes back to life, it is a zombie. Quite simple. Of course, what makes it exciting is that zombies have a terrible desire to eat living human beings, specially<span style="font-size:130%;"> brains</span>. The possible interpretation is that of <span style="font-style: italic;">want</span>, they want what they <span style="font-style: italic;">lack</span>, since they are dead living corpses, their brains aren’t working and they <span style="font-style: italic;">want </span>some. However, it might simply be a craving for life and live flesh is what gives them their reanimation.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You see, if they wanted brains because of the <span style="font-style: italic;">lack</span>, then we would not have stupid zombies. And we do have them.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">For example, about 2,000 years ago this dim-witted jewish zombie got it wrong. Though he went around scaring people (<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">you know, by doing<span style="font-style: italic;"> the zombie stuff</span>: displaying his open wounds, moving with a sluggish, blundering pace, etc.</span>) instead of doing the proper munching up of the populace, he asked for the opposite and started telling everyone to eat him!</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZCAoTWFx746NEFCAKBM3e3hPzM0RFhSh6jm54Vp_tKnyOvMq4rvO28IMHoZP07HLdZl3f7sb4lIPzD95fc9vonMrtU8bgElQB4cxySLuXttuFuZcqRe58uYjJ1UYzmxXxtL-qi-bTcpY/s1600-h/Christ_resurrected.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 359px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZCAoTWFx746NEFCAKBM3e3hPzM0RFhSh6jm54Vp_tKnyOvMq4rvO28IMHoZP07HLdZl3f7sb4lIPzD95fc9vonMrtU8bgElQB4cxySLuXttuFuZcqRe58uYjJ1UYzmxXxtL-qi-bTcpY/s400/Christ_resurrected.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362931442543737378" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:11;" ><span style="font-size:85%;">It was so scary people are still talking about it.
<br />For more info about this, click <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Zombie_Jesus">here</a>.</span>
<br /></span>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-64586186580055626042009-07-08T19:10:00.001-07:002009-07-08T20:48:06.043-07:00PoopartSeveral times, students have asked me how can one recognize “<span style="font-size:130%;">art</span>”. I would tell them that art moves you from inside. <div><div><br /><div>It is this something that pierces into you through your senses, imbues you up completely, twists and twirls your insides you until you are seized with convulsions and then… <em><span style="color:#33cc00;">zaz</span></em>! Art.<br /></div><div>For example, every time I walk into a bookstore (<span style="color:#009900;">or library</span>) I need only to march up to the literature stand, read the titles and immediately I will be saturated with uncontrollable urges to take a shit. My dear friend <strong>MG</strong> experiences the same when she goes into a museum, she strolls into a room, sees a sculpture and instantly she feels a spasmodic sensation that is followed by farts and excretions as she darts to the restroom. </div><br /><div>And so, artists undergo the same occurrence while creating art, so here, for your pleasure, a small collection:<br /></div><div>Andrés Serrano, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piss_Christ">Piss Christ</a>, 1989. Material: crucifix in piss. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356277897224409746" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 248px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-kCP7Bw3Hmq53zwx3c54oxZlX2mqqzEh1yQpS6Lv1J9BL5v_nea35cuLjIAeO8QcHaHZ52ux0XGOvxiWJUyMf30G03yq0U3F16aB1S2PL-fMFlPpPTJAXtVF2SgLbn5eZ6vY-61jyDUk/s400/caca_jesus.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Santiago Sierra, <a href="http://www.santiago-sierra.com/200709_1024.php">Sierra-Shit</a>,2007, Material: Shit from the lowest caste of India and plastic. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356278093261888978" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 292px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5POh1BN_tr_eTrHj4tnFRoDte6y6ZW7LEICZanitiTm-bPjwFtXU08iPXqsNGaSoz-NiOnnyyMXwzgpDUkTs6Qt1QbCVVUlrXZcpJdIoTbC_hpcIFXBLYqY4jC2iKQ0KT3q2b6-HWjPk/s400/caca_SierraShit.jpg" border="0" /><br />Piero Manzoni, "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piero_Manzoni">Artist's (Poo)," </a>1961, Material: cans and shit. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356278646578663666" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 332px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 350px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWayfak5OKlfHS8SXFtcK_K5f_D4MXhaiTMMHuNY1avCO42BvzMz4nhv_gdS9N-oPL7WPMP3vUuiTLGnxHzVuj5Kl3ZB-DzgERABsmcZN8AOI97VefAKv2FnP-9OF0K5HJY_UabW4GeK4/s400/caca_manzoni.jpg" border="0" /><br />So if this blog makes you want to puke or shit... now you know. </div></div></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-87231987576828678672009-07-01T08:40:00.000-07:002009-07-01T09:10:45.077-07:00Myths<div align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiprT9CfWNymtjOFewQBWXFsVvQaP9y2K655yql6-Fb2yz0JfQtMiWSzLUwu5bgTsbkqAjwZRBmz2k7EbQdfwwj7DAeqbyrBsxjiMyTcAxZHHIvuCJCzINMNPEclMUbB-9R8tv_C4gH20s/s1600-h/tarantula_l.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353524219622807522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 338px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiprT9CfWNymtjOFewQBWXFsVvQaP9y2K655yql6-Fb2yz0JfQtMiWSzLUwu5bgTsbkqAjwZRBmz2k7EbQdfwwj7DAeqbyrBsxjiMyTcAxZHHIvuCJCzINMNPEclMUbB-9R8tv_C4gH20s/s400/tarantula_l.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;"> </span><a href="http://www.xcalak.info/images/florafauna/tarantula_l.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;">source</span></a></div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">I am truly fond of bugs, especially spiders. I just love spiders and their spidery eyes and long furry legs. You see, almost all of them have eight legs, except when they have been pulled off, then they have less.<br /><br /><br />There are so many myths about spiders. They say that she-spiders bite the male’s head off after copulation. It is also said that the spiderlings devour their devout mothers, and this is done in a routinely fashion, it is also alleged that they slowly munch their defenseless little brothers and sisters and it is because of such reason that the surviving spider is indeed a very savage one, a spider filled with hate and violence, that would match any beastly human. However this pure fiction, a legend, a something that is not, such stories are impossible since spiders do not have a chewing mechanism and therefore do not chew, devour, bite heads off or munch. They must inject an acidic substance and suck the liquefied victim. And everyone knows that no being that lives on a liquid diet can be that evil.<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353518755644462178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 265px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEaYA8a4JqVqwOSFOCFHSv0EfeY-475K1E_fzjxA6JacSH2Ikp1hORZcOSzURz4SrfJCvhbS2R1QfqoZ5AFcP7MY7rr7-5QQhbrHI37ZUQ-EKBZlZitQm4wyMEBxqY3ZhZXetR1Fa5f1o/s400/mamara%C3%B1a.jpg" border="0" /><a href="http://www.michaelturco.com/Carolina%20wolf%20spider.html"><span style="font-size:78%;">source</span></a><br /><br />Poor misunderstood lovely spiders, attacked mercilessly by ignorant beings who lynch and probe them. Who take hundreds of innocuous tarantulas and light them on fire, that take chaste black widows and squish them, harmless daddy long legs driven off cliffs. So so much cruelty to the poor innocent misconstrued spiders.<br /><br /><br />And in <a href="http://www.frizz-restaurant.com/cambodia-food/spiders.html">Cambodia</a>, they fry them up and eat them. <em><span style="color:#33cc00;">Psshhh. </span></em><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353517537018978354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGji4B5GO5gQ88dV3w3JS_4X-w0cU3k0_aje5yD1ifVpSFcJmUoXz_Oacr4BrK7EPLJMG7gPmj2o6b_U9kY5UqeNOvvv9OK-BlpEiAx04DUIC91WBy38DRt0UO5O_u43XVHuRvATrKEdg/s400/800px-Fried_spiders_Skuon_Cambodia.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/77/Fried_spiders_Skuon_Cambodia.jpg/800px-Fried_spiders_Skuon_Cambodia.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;">source</span></a><br /></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-69244444127225550772009-06-22T09:38:00.000-07:002009-06-22T10:04:34.885-07:00The meaning of life, Part II<div>I work in order that my things have a good and decent life.<br /><br /><div align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350198697147474578" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 262px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 340px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinqmJ4O7EHviDKUnxxhEB6SfUc56IfYK_9Zad6eU-oTdo6bKO_fb54pUswt1wui5yY8x7hI4uPoklSuxd2-it3GBNcgIyV27yNU6c_e4Mui9k5pfHjtdXxrWP9ehcaLR1OWZp6p-NfkiY/s400/pop_wife.jpg" border="0" /><br /> <a href="http://www.stevenkasher.com/html/Detail.asp?WorkInvNum=5740&whatpage=exhib"><span style="font-size:78%;">source</span> </a><br /><br /><div align="left"><br />Eight hours a day for the car´s good maintenance, so I can change the spark plugs and rotate the tires and verify the belts are ok every 25,000 miles and check the oil level, and change it, and using only higher octane fuel because is good for the engine, and also wax it, polish it, and cover it at night with a tent. </div><br /><div align="left"><br />From 9 to 5, so I can get a vacuum cleaner for the carpet and that machine that also washes them with ultra super water pressure power and this gizmo thingy that absorbs bad smells from the fridge and energy conserving lightbulbs and a special cleaner for the wood furniture and another for the glass windows and another for the toilet and another for the sink and another for the plates and another for the cups and another for the floor, but not the carpet, because I only use water for the special carpet cleaner machine. </div><br /><div align="left"><br />So I use my hours, instead of writing or reading, or painting, or eating, or going out for a walk in the park, or hanging out with friends or with my wonderful kitty, so my clothes can be washed with the special laundry detergent that is biofriendly organic biodegradable biologically bioethics not tested on animals plants or anything that has ever been alive or ever will be. On that and on a fabric softener that leaves the clothes smelling just like Spring with the essence of clouds. So I can iron it and put it in a box, in a drawer, in a closet, inside the room. </div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">So I got some coat hangers for my pants, so I will not get creases, and some for my skirts so they hang loose and do not loose their fluff, and some for my sleeveless shirts so they don’t stretch and some for my coat, that goes easy on the shoulders, and a dehumidifier for the shoes. I also wanted some wine, a good wine, maybe this Spanish wine I have been thinking about a San Román 2002, but it was a little bit expensive and the beer was on sale, and it is just wine, really, so I got some of that. </div></div></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-35816918690644492692009-06-14T09:08:00.001-07:002009-06-14T09:17:13.206-07:00Election time!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmxGcmcXx62FvRBHON5d1LuxwBLecDWQn7dVnNTDhQJ34zXSV-0ViGRTHHxh8akALp7UlI8-DpkUwuWaDktEyb7pVE-saXVVL62bixgCwnfD9-JS9h3HvSlTMLbCLV_upB2XU8x1MNbyc/s1600-h/dado-elecciones-480x381.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5347217891675967618" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 306px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 207px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmxGcmcXx62FvRBHON5d1LuxwBLecDWQn7dVnNTDhQJ34zXSV-0ViGRTHHxh8akALp7UlI8-DpkUwuWaDktEyb7pVE-saXVVL62bixgCwnfD9-JS9h3HvSlTMLbCLV_upB2XU8x1MNbyc/s400/dado-elecciones-480x381.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk71mRLhgawT5kW4PXLdBOayGL4aEO7LJorBt__1dzlnhodtvzv1j5YE9UU8Z_767OCht3boXriTOK4UHlrQwDZV9SpSd_bhP5_H4gLVPxoGx92ou8LjEUpqaxgotRbuuPEdVx1eREVBrG/s1600-h/ballot_boxes_424305.jpg"></a></div><br /><div>It is election time again, where we have the opportunity to submit our vote in Exchange for our obedience. <a href="http://www.thehumorarchives.com/joke/Different_types_of_government">Democracy</a>. The wonderful system where a despotic majority decides over such issues like turning stinky jews into <a href="http://www.ajzanier.com.ar/genocidio.htm">soaps</a>, ban marriage, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/06/us/politics/06ballot.html">sterilize </a>the uncouth Indians, allow the <a href="http://www.minutemanproject.com/">hunting down </a>of humans who happen to not be born in the same hospital as them… so many things that are deemed <em>morally acceptable</em>, even <strong><span style="font-size:130%;">good</span></strong>.<br /></div><br /><div>Unless of course, the aforementioned majority becomes the stinky minority and then you hear complains about planes dropped on them or druglords gunning them down in their favorite vacation spots. But I do wonder why? If it was all a result of a <em>democratic choice</em>. </div><br /><div><br />It is obvious that in the precise moment that you submit your ballot, you are submitting your will.<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5347204310980885010" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 242px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 156px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zSHbMVwsD11XpSbRU_Qu_iizn6KqC7Q7es4r6SW6V1bHjr7qPc7-9N4Z7hPPYR2N-t187josxtOuMDMc6u9u4MDPnhu9Y-Z_pbA7sYxTAupxqIBa7TRM9uGoF-Iss1X325fsixj0xTge/s400/e-voting.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>In the moment that you choose the <em>lesser of two evils (</em><span style="color:#009900;">or three evils, or four</span><em>...)</em>, you are implicitly accepting <em>whatever</em> happens. As the vote is casted all of the personal responsibility that deals with any of the next four to six years is also included. Whatever the majority rules will <em>be </em>the best choice. So <em>this</em> is worse than a tyranny, because in a dictatorship there is at least a mean evil oppressor, but here, in this fake democracies, the silence is autoregulated. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br />So some believe the best choice is just to annul the vote (<span style="color:#009900;">as if there would be any difference between winning by two votes or by 40,000</span>). It is just a small <em>band aid</em> used to cover the big gash of the lesser than two evils. Civic duty would be to run for office, or at least create a deadly flu virus that will exterminate all of the swine politicians… <em>oh well</em>… </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>What I am doing is that I´m just going to vote for Cepillín. At least he admits he is a clown. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5347203669190079106" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 220px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6LZaqW8rdU2pWoIj1oJ3b-jkYrGuO0V7NjdpHd3IrjeFbEi_waiFh0ULITgJGtoJPFhtEr9c49JpGKzG47lb8wn4uyHHLKWpztYofBpZbNGsbihMGV0cCZse8kcjUrIaMsZQvDyGSvvCo/s400/cepillin_70.jpg" border="0" /></div>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-89932913912489553822009-06-06T10:56:00.000-07:002009-06-06T11:37:13.611-07:00Jesus in marmalade<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEZN5RCJovweodJ2GPuQhJNhJ3WFNm3xx7CGazbQud0vx-jihien6fHDCPywOlBJPMDXJHWnShIuwuF3bDTsqTPiCXBeJwZFlddsp1s5zdL114JbKZnV_KQ0f7OeEZGoIl7Yhyqj5_355O/s1600-h/jesus_lid.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344271771383558850" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 1px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 1px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEZN5RCJovweodJ2GPuQhJNhJ3WFNm3xx7CGazbQud0vx-jihien6fHDCPywOlBJPMDXJHWnShIuwuF3bDTsqTPiCXBeJwZFlddsp1s5zdL114JbKZnV_KQ0f7OeEZGoIl7Yhyqj5_355O/s400/jesus_lid.gif" border="0" /></a>Jesus has appeared to the humans many times. These images fill the expecting flock with faith and feelings of divine miracles, which are plentiful of mirth, and hope, and (<span style="color:#009900;">insert favorite emotion here</span>).<br /><br />However, the interesting thing here is that according to forensic and anthropological <a href="http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/research/1282186.html">studies</a>, the christ´s face would have pretty much looked like this:<br /><div><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344267188732639890" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 302px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikgW4vgrhvD9eqI3kKiBep-EdX4GN_SKzcWhKF6Tihlq1YY3hjuIt9y5d1DW9Hg-uQ4DxZkwUQ9InOFRQ3kJnV6rDJ8yFeCxuCUkW7G6Uk-qXZMMDDWannSiVIXv29gh3U_GzqIHDxnXub/s400/Jesus-Christ.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><div>But the one showing up looks like this:<br /></div><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344269356529789570" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 319px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23OLfGafDKeyddFY8qigyr2HipD6lTk4bSYRnyFcxpGrBuHuOcpdq7B_b1yKWqVuxRFqqer7qoR_5bQDCyHokJ6xDnUTTcYQVf5T-SC-SceG1snR3HUmwplIEzCLaSqBLSyMNTpCzPjDR/s400/jesus-face-29.jpg" border="0" /><br />It is logical to think that by the time, a face like such would have issued responses such as "<em><span style="color:#000099;">here comes the monster</span></em>", "<em><span style="color:#000099;">don´t be afraid of him, he is horrible but sweet</span></em>" and "<em><span style="color:#000099;">the lepers love him, because he is as ugly as them</span></em>". Therefore, the christ looked like a regular person, since only differences are noted.<br /></p><p>(<span style="color:#006600;">That is why it is impossible that the 9-11 terrorists had been arabs. I know that the most trusted and honest Bush and the totally reliable Al-Qaeda said so. But there is no phone conversation from the victims in the plane hijackings that said "<em><span style="color:#000099;">we are being hijacked by some fucking shit arab guy</span></em>". </span><a href="http://www.vaed.uscourts.gov/notablecases/moussaoui/exhibits/prosecution/flights/P200055.html"><span style="color:#006600;">All </span></a><span style="color:#006600;">say "<span style="color:#000099;">hijackers</span>", "<span style="color:#000099;">with red bandanas</span>", "<span style="color:#000099;">with a knife</span>", etc... in other words, the hijackers looked like them: white and American</span>)<br /><br />But back to the christ. From the sightings several things are noted:</p><p>- The apparitions do not correspond to the original Christ, but to images that people <em>want</em> to be the Christ.<br />-The image is not really important, it is more so the desire for it to be true. <br />-The one appearing is not the Christ but some white, european, blue-eyed, bearded dude.<br />-The bearded dude is possibly a guy who in life kicked puppies and spat at old ladies...</p><p>Let´s pray.</p><p><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JvjGIkl2yDY&hl=es&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JvjGIkl2yDY&hl=es&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2118713637994120801.post-65439656315768171382009-06-01T20:36:00.000-07:002009-06-01T20:59:58.194-07:00Relics, saints and chapelsIt is well documented that christ´s circumcision was performed on the eighth day he was born by a priestess friend of Mary. His <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce"><strong><span style="color:#993399;">Holy Prepuce</span></strong> </a>was stored in nard oil and some of the so called “<em>unauthentic</em>” gospels state that precisely this was the oil used by Mary Magdalene when she anointed him. <div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342511754482113362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 301px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdnZxvnXLY1ePQ-Sp8ZHzlunZ4UR3TsqT-K9ctoHzgJTyQqeur0I1oR4aWAyCqBSOH0C4xJZQ2I-nZpjUfI-WjYsfXjVIvz1kshDnB8LfrOYFxjqGxd-R9kuXqubTKrVLGzHUJYjR6KDOK/s400/mm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>Other sources situate the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce"><strong><span style="color:#993399;">Holy Prepuce</span></strong> </a>in a small chapel in Colombia. Apparently during the failed expedition by <strong>Diego de Nicuesa</strong>, there was a sailor named Diego de Vergara who was supposed to be the great great great <em>etc</em> great grandson of this rabbi, and who had always kept the <span style="color:#993399;"><strong>Holy Prepuce</strong></span><span style="color:#993399;"> </span><span style="color:#000000;">as a heirloom. </span>There is little known about this expedition and even less about the relic´s authenticity, so this proposal is even more dubious than the first one.</div><div><br />However, they might even seem excesive when compared to what is known about Jesus´s holy diapers and his holy <span style="color:#663300;"><strong>shit</strong></span>. The only reference found is in an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arabic_Infancy_Gospel">arab gospel</a>, which was probably written around the 6th Century, and in it is stated that the son of God´s first diaper was given as a gift to the three wise men. Who in turn tried to burn it, since it stench was driving the camel, the horse and the elephant into a paranoid sexual psychosis that appeared to be harmful to them. However, after the fire burned out the diaper remained intact. After this proof, the wise men had to recognize the child´s divinity, for anything that the baby´s bodily fluids touched turned to immaculate perfection (<span style="color:#009900;">Actually, there are records that His bath water was greedily sought by the lepers of the sorrounding area).</span></div><div><span style="color:#009900;"></span></div><div><br />This aforementioned superpowerful diaper was sent to a small arab town (<span style="color:#006600;">whose name has been lost to the historical records</span>) to a family that had three extremely beautiful sons whose eyes shone as the moon and two exquisitely superb daughters, and it was said that whomever saw the whole family together could not stand the magnificence and would immediately start bawling. Therefore, close to the family´s dwelling there were green grasses irrigated by the profusely watered fountains created by the tears of the people in the village. So this made the town unbelievably fertile and the family immensely rich. However, during the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crusade">first crusade </a>this town was in the middle of the way of the recovery of the holy relics and was burnt to the ground and the soil salted. </div><div><br />It is interesting how it finally played out, since the crusaders obtained a diaper which (<span style="color:#009900;">according</span> <span style="color:#006600;">to the obscure records of the time</span>) smelt like roses, which in turn made it enough proof for them for the holyness of the <span style="color:#663300;"><strong>shit</strong></span>. But truly, this diaper which is up to this day stored in a small vault in the Vatican, is nothing more than the diaper of one of the youngest daughters of the family. </div><div></div><div>A Jesuit friend of mine could procure a picture after bribing a guard with a 5 euro note and a small bottle of tequila: </div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342509793149182386" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 314px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq2LgEAgo0w_ap8NNejA5pLxV-P7SDvAllpbqJhLSrLAcnobQS6m2Qys-GVqKcsQllUvzE_t6xsbndI2V3eXMCKzwrKhggSUsRTlnt2u4QIauHWG4Y2qecytxL3eDX1ILPbukF-nEcuQ4J/s400/relicario_pa%C3%B1al.jpg" border="0" /><br />It is well known that the christ´s <span style="color:#333300;"><strong>shit</strong></span> stank like no man´s <strong><span style="color:#333300;">shit</span></strong> has stunk before, since he was the Son of Man. It is so obvious that even in the aforementioned gospels there are at least 4 cases of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demonic_possession">demonic possessions </a>whose victims, after putting the diaper close to their nose, would writhe and squirm in anguish while the demons fled their carnal bodies.<br /><br />There is also a small chapel, remodeled by the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathars">cathars </a>during the 11th Century, that claims to be the holy sanctuary of the holy <span style="color:#663300;"><strong>shit</strong></span> of Christ. Apparently the place where Jesus would defecate during his childhood in Judea was found. However, the veracity of the relic has never been proven, though pilgrims from all over the world flock the chapel twice a year (<span style="color:#006600;">in </span><span style="color:#009900;">Good Friday and Christmas</span>) because the relic regains roundness and humidity and stinks. It is said that after one visit during these days, the <span style="color:#663300;"><strong>holy stench</strong></span> will remain in the clothes eternally, forever blessing the wearer with the miracle.</div><div><br /></div><div><em><strong><span style="color:#000099;"></span></strong></em></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342509684884467490" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 259px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih0eXAK-Li-AXqR2GALTgWcRyEmWAbRyP79mebRpwRIiY8VaNk3RoaTkrckyw_5_pF9bPQZ_AC3TjTr51bn_cliBpVPEUl-ENzIT7XJ_aGp8KiuQtkuh97PTrEf7cpEzHNupGr1TQKA6hZ/s400/relicario_caca.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />What has indeed been proven that this region is the epicenter for the coined phrase “<span style="color:#000066;"><strong>Holy shit!"</strong></span>Edigatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11400384109151186339noreply@blogger.com0