Scaly News

Recent studies from the New Mexico University at Ruidoso in alliance with the Instituto Tecnológico y de Estudios Inferiores de Monterrey have announced the discovery that cell phones do not exist. Apparently they have been been nothing but a fictional creation. According to the studies, the effectiveness of the contraption is as real as Grandma´s chicken broth for curing a flu or that walking under a ladder causes a streak of bad luck. I do not mean that the actual physical being of the cell phone is imaginary, but that the belief that they work is wrong. What it is evident, however, is that the population has been under the impression that cell phones are not only effective but necessary.
The pragmatic justification lies in the form of following argument:
I open my cell phone. I call my brother. My brother answers. WE COMMUNICATE. I turn off my cell phone. Conversation ends.

So it is believed (innacurately) that the exchange was actually established through the cell phone. This is wrong.




Meanwhile, scientists have been busy trying to figure out how cell phones work and give not very helpful suggestions which compare them to a transmiting radio, or by explaining that sound is transported magically through invisible waves. In many documented cases, however, phones without a current phone line or battery power have been able to receive messages (or even send them), calls that were not made have been answered, information was exchanged, concrete data about deaths of relatives was known, etc. There are numerous unexplained stories related to personal cell phones (if you want more examples, clic here )

After extensive research, recent findings indicated that cell phones work by activating neurological centers in the brain through the emission of non-ionized magnetic fields and radiation (BTW, this causes cancer of the brain in most people).

The stimulated area is precisely the one that stores emotional knowledge whose link to extrasensory perception has been identified in several occasions.

(An unexpected, but very welcome finding in the research was detecting why a person using a cell phone may demostrate violent behaviour (shouting, being disrespectful, insulting people, etc.), the answer lies in the position of the cell phone. If it is turned to a 45 degree angle, the area which controls inhibitions in the brain is turned off, in other words... rudeness can be cured with a twist from the wrist!).

After all of these investigations, what has been found is that personal cell phones are not used for communication, they are merely activators of telepathic brain cells with ESP potentiality.
In other words, we use cell phones to turn on our telepathic brain.
In addition, suggestion and superstition have helped in waking this considerable percentage of the brain ensuing mind "communication" between individuals. There is faith in cell phones.
To put it in very simple terms, besides having a similar effect created by any blow to the head, open microwave oven or lighting falling on the person, a cell phone is nothing more than a fancy miniature photographic camera and alarm clock.