26/11/08

Cats galore

There is basically two kinds of humans: those who love cats and those who have never had a cat.
On this topic, there is this wonderful short movie, -however it is possible that as soon as you press play PETA will knock down your door and spray you with red paint (or flour) or any non denomination Animal Rights Association will place a bomb in your living room.- Hope that does not happen to you, because...here it is!

It is based on a song composed in 1893. (info here)



But if you belong to the second kind of humans, do consider, querid@:

22/11/08

Colorful snow

See, the thing is that when snow is falling from the sky it floats gently, it is like tranquil rain, like a liquid sigh. It is beautiful and ephemeral. But then it lands on the ground and stays there.
For seven months.
I am delighted by snow in the air. But on the floor… The soil is blanketed with hard concrete that absorbs nothing. And people spit, vomit and pee on it. Then they walk their dogs who do the same. And let´s not forget about the squirrels, rabbits, other rodents and birds. Just in my bus stop there is a mound of crow excrement from two weeks ago. It was dropped, plop, and is still there.
Hence, the streets will be covered with snow and bodily (solid) fluids.

For seven months.


Yet everyone survives, they simply start putting up warnings for the children (and for the edigator):
Cover your ears or you might lose them.
Don´t lick lampposts.
Do NOT eat yellow snow.

21/11/08

A Night at the (not) Opera

Today they are showing Madama Butterfly in the theatre.
I see the posters, imagine buying a ticket... yet my background experience whispers in my ear: edigator, if you go to the opera you will encounter screaming fat banshees and an orchestra that will receive a standing ovation as soon as they finish tuning their instruments.
I try to explain this to the world, the opera is way too jazzy for me, it is like a bad andrew lloyd weber with worse wardrobe, it is like a pre-school spring festival...
edigator, do you like the opera?
edigator whines, winces a little, bites her lip, no no no.
Maybe this might enlighten you:

15/11/08

After the previous post, the piñatas called me and demanded me to tell their own version.

According to them, piñatas are exploited. As the layers of brightly colored papier machié are applied nobody indicates that they will be tortured, hung from a rope, surrounded and prodded with sticks. They say that as they overhang looking down they can see how the diminute humans greedily fight over their spilled entrails.

And I must admit the different perspective approach was not moving me to tell the tale, I mean, are we now going to start telling something in order to include all versions? according to the rope? to the stick? Osea, hellow, we have to draw the line somewhere, the edigator is not the UNESCO. But... I must concede that there was one particular piñata with this heart warming story, and then I just knew I had to tell it here.

Viewer discretion advised:

14/11/08

We could say that childhood is marked by those moments reminiscenced with a sigh, by those nostalgic flashbacks filled with enormous intake of breaths, that are ingrained in our minds so strongly that they have helped produce incredibly wealthy psychiatrists.

Basically, we can say that we spend most of our adult life trying to erase trauma.

In addition to your dead pet turtle, seeing mommy and daddy doing that, school taunting, etc., adult Mexicans have to also erase memories of piñatas.
And just a little know-how of the piñata situation for non-Mexicans:
1. The piñata is the spitting image of the uttermost admired superhero.
2. The piñata is literally torn apart in front of a terrified child who stands aghast.
3. There is always some little snot that steals your candy.
4. And without exception, someone unfailingly gets hurt.

11/11/08

Recent studies from the New Mexico University at Ruidoso in alliance with the Instituto Tecnológico y de Estudios Inferiores de Monterrey have announced the discovery that cell phones do not exist. Apparently they have been been nothing but a fictional creation. According to the studies, the effectiveness of the contraption is as real as Grandma´s chicken broth for curing a flu or that walking under a ladder causes a streak of bad luck. I do not mean that the actual physical being of the cell phone is imaginary, but that the belief that they work is wrong. What it is evident, however, is that the population has been under the impression that cell phones are not only effective but necessary.
The pragmatic justification lies in the form of following argument:
I open my cell phone. I call my brother. My brother answers. WE COMMUNICATE. I turn off my cell phone. Conversation ends.

So it is believed (innacurately) that the exchange was actually established through the cell phone. This is wrong.




Meanwhile, scientists have been busy trying to figure out how cell phones work and give not very helpful suggestions which compare them to a transmiting radio, or by explaining that sound is transported magically through invisible waves. In many documented cases, however, phones without a current phone line or battery power have been able to receive messages (or even send them), calls that were not made have been answered, information was exchanged, concrete data about deaths of relatives was known, etc. There are numerous unexplained stories related to personal cell phones (if you want more examples, clic here )

After extensive research, recent findings indicated that cell phones work by activating neurological centers in the brain through the emission of non-ionized magnetic fields and radiation (BTW, this causes cancer of the brain in most people).

The stimulated area is precisely the one that stores emotional knowledge whose link to extrasensory perception has been identified in several occasions.

(An unexpected, but very welcome finding in the research was detecting why a person using a cell phone may demostrate violent behaviour (shouting, being disrespectful, insulting people, etc.), the answer lies in the position of the cell phone. If it is turned to a 45 degree angle, the area which controls inhibitions in the brain is turned off, in other words... rudeness can be cured with a twist from the wrist!).



After all of these investigations, what has been found is that personal cell phones are not used for communication, they are merely activators of telepathic brain cells with ESP potentiality.
In other words, we use cell phones to turn on our telepathic brain.
In addition, suggestion and superstition have helped in waking this considerable percentage of the brain ensuing mind "communication" between individuals. There is faith in cell phones.
To put it in very simple terms, besides having a similar effect created by any blow to the head, open microwave oven or lighting falling on the person, a cell phone is nothing more than a fancy miniature photographic camera and alarm clock.
 
Creative Commons License
This work by Edigator is licensed under a Creative Commons Atribución-No Derivadas 3.0 Estados Unidos License.