Cats on walls

Everyone knows that cats control human thought.

This is the obvious reason for human activities toward cats: building fine sand boxes which are meticulously cleaned of dung and pee; brushing elusive fine hairs which will be lodged in human nostrils; buying expensive cat toys that will be discarded after 120 seconds; tending on to every possible cat need without any contemplation of own´s safety (have you ever brushed a cat´s teeth?).

There is absolutely no retribution: neither economic, nor emotional (cats do not even recognize their humans), nor physical. In other words, a cat is like an everlasting teenager.

And when this dominance is mixed with creative activity, the product is a cat. This was proven after viewing some graffiti in Bogotá.

meow!

The meaning of life, Part II

I work in order that my things have a good and decent life.

source

Eight hours a day for the car´s good maintenance, so I can change the spark plugs and rotate the tires and verify the belts are ok every 25,000 miles and check the oil level, and change it, and using only higher octane fuel because is good for the engine, and also wax it, polish it, and cover it at night with a tent.

From 9 to 5, so I can get a vacuum cleaner for the carpet and that machine that also washes them with ultra super water pressure power and this gizmo thingy that absorbs bad smells from the fridge and energy conserving lightbulbs and a special cleaner for the wood furniture and another for the glass windows and another for the toilet and another for the sink and another for the plates and another for the cups and another for the floor, but not the carpet, because I only use water for the special carpet cleaner machine.

So I use my hours, instead of writing or reading, or painting, or eating, or going out for a walk in the park, or hanging out with friends or with my wonderful kitty, so my clothes can be washed with the special laundry detergent that is biofriendly organic biodegradable biologically bioethics not tested on animals plants or anything that has ever been alive or ever will be. On that and on a fabric softener that leaves the clothes smelling just like Spring with the essence of clouds. So I can iron it and put it in a box, in a drawer, in a closet, inside the room.

So I got some coat hangers for my pants, so I will not get creases, and some for my skirts so they hang loose and do not loose their fluff, and some for my sleeveless shirts so they don’t stretch and some for my coat, that goes easy on the shoulders, and a dehumidifier for the shoes. I also wanted some wine, a good wine, maybe this Spanish wine I have been thinking about a San Román 2002, but it was a little bit expensive and the beer was on sale, and it is just wine, really, so I got some of that.

Those beasts!

We love to believe that the world makes sense, our sense.

We see animals as these humanified and social beings. We give them personalities and emotions and we think they love us so very much and that they are the only ones that understand us. We place them in spaces where they don’t belong and when the mean evil dog mauls the innocent little kid, everyone is frightened and surprised (but he just loooves children). But the animal keeps being that, and well, we cannot deny these attacks are usually funny.

Today, a beast special: news reporters and animals (you decide which is the beast).

Leaping lizard


Cute kittens


Nasty bugs


Grapes and bats

Gato and Cheese

The edigator has a master (these is how divinity works).
Hir master plays with the edigator´s frail feelings by torturing hir with everlasting shrilling howls and inordinate demands.

In addition, Master has extremely sensitive taste buds which demand palatable morsels of pleasure such as... cheese. However, since the edigator is from a place were cows are thirsty and their tits shrivel and fall off, we came to Wisconsin (aka Gringolandia).

Just for the cheese.

To a place where cows prance happily, filled with mirth and milk.

So, finally, I bought master the much sought after cheese.

This was his outmost noble and sincere reaction to the much expected scrumptious delight:

Conclusion: Wisconsin cheese sucks!

bidé

We have already had a nice short history lesson (click here)about a particular machine that dwells in european restrooms.

Though, a normal person may wrongly believe that a toilet, a shower and a sink are enough to perform the necessary corporal cleanliness, our first world compadres insist that we actually need a special contrivance just to irrigate... you know... there. Et voilá...The bidet!

In order to dispel doubts I have added a very simple diagram showing how this thing works:


According to the old world, the correct way to position the body over the device is usually the following:

However, if up to now, somehow you have managed to keep your special private area (you know... there) quite spotless, and you plan to invest some money in getting a bidet, think of all the ways you could take advantage of this gadget:


Scrubbing feet! (an ideal way to meet friends)



Actually completing cat washing (no more nasty scratching!)


Storing your beer (especially if you live in a rat hole, I mean, an Efficiency )

Washing your hair (and you don´t even get your clothes wet)


And finally... Bathing babies! (just think about it, if baby falls... no problem!)

Cats galore

There is basically two kinds of humans: those who love cats and those who have never had a cat.
On this topic, there is this wonderful short movie, -however it is possible that as soon as you press play PETA will knock down your door and spray you with red paint (or flour) or any non denomination Animal Rights Association will place a bomb in your living room.- Hope that does not happen to you, because...here it is!

It is based on a song composed in 1893. (info here)



But if you belong to the second kind of humans, do consider, querid@: