Baby Shower Games

My dear friend Seraqui is having a baby shower for the fruit of her unprotected passion and the edigator was asked for help.
-Oh, great edigator of the sewers, you will be in charge of games. They said.
-Games?!, edigator flabergastedly asked, what kind of games?!
-Oh, you know, games that involve babies, the edigator was told with a smile and a sigh.
So the edigator thunk and thunk and thunk and created the following Three Baby Games:

I. Pin the penis on the baby
Instructions: Grab a penis, wear a blindfold, pin it on the baby.

Then, thunk some more and came with the white trash version (much more fun!)…

I. (version plus) Put out the cigarette on the baby
Instructions: Grab a lighted cigarette and put it out on the baby.
II. Spin the baby
Instructions: Grab a baby by its hind feet. Spin.
10 points for each completed turn.
III. Kick the baby.
Instructions: Place baby in garden. Punt baby. 2 points per 5 yards of flight.

Any more suggestions?

bidé

We have already had a nice short history lesson (click here)about a particular machine that dwells in european restrooms.

Though, a normal person may wrongly believe that a toilet, a shower and a sink are enough to perform the necessary corporal cleanliness, our first world compadres insist that we actually need a special contrivance just to irrigate... you know... there. Et voilá...The bidet!

In order to dispel doubts I have added a very simple diagram showing how this thing works:


According to the old world, the correct way to position the body over the device is usually the following:

However, if up to now, somehow you have managed to keep your special private area (you know... there) quite spotless, and you plan to invest some money in getting a bidet, think of all the ways you could take advantage of this gadget:


Scrubbing feet! (an ideal way to meet friends)



Actually completing cat washing (no more nasty scratching!)


Storing your beer (especially if you live in a rat hole, I mean, an Efficiency )

Washing your hair (and you don´t even get your clothes wet)


And finally... Bathing babies! (just think about it, if baby falls... no problem!)