Don Quixote, condensed

The thoughtful edigator understand that not everyone has the time and patience to read the complete version of Don Quixote, but they should. Therefore, the magnanimus has condensed the novel written by Miguel de Cervantes, who found the manuscript composed by Cid Hamete Berengeli and took it to be translated to a semi anonimus arab, all of that... to be read in less than a minute.

El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha

In a village of La Mancha, the name of which I have no desire tocall to mind, there lived not long since one of those gentlemen thatkeep a lance in the lance-rack, an old buckler, a lean hack, and agreyhound for coursing.

Don Quixote: I am a knight, I will go in search of adventures.
Everyone: No, you are not!
Don Quixote: Yes, I am.
Everyone: Ok, lets play along.
Don Quixote dies.


Source
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So stupid

There is a series of internet pages that document human stupidity.
Sometimes I wonder if in a distant future (considering there will be one), when the archaeologists research daily practices of the xxi century sapiens sapiens animal, they will conclude (accurately) that all human life: that is meanings, objectives, dreams and desires (such as now is said about the mayas were sky watchers or the ancient egyptians were Nile farmers who wore eyeliner and short skirts) was centered in the regulation and description of ways to maim and annihilate the others,

in a obsessive collection of human orifices and things that might be inserted into them,

and a chronology of stupidity.

Interestingly enough, stupidity is closely associated to the viewing of a different outcome as the one predicted or quite simple situations were humans are hurt.

Anyway, I found a wonderful internet page that has become a favorite of mine, a way to lighten up my gray days: Failblog.org.

I leave you with and image and a couple of videos from that site that I have found lovely.

Fail sign!

Fail Ironing!

Fail parking, fail awareness of surroundings, fail good samaritan, fail everything!!

Centaurs, oh my

Modern humans live surrounded by myths. Though the documented reality provided by TIME magazine does not accept the concept of monsters or anything that is not normal, people keep seeing, listening, photographing, filming and running away from aliens, chupacabras, yetis, hipno toads, and a nice assortment of evil slimy monsters in search of brains and other juicy parts of the body.

But the magnificent edigator is aware that according to psychology and anthropology and sociology and all of those quite exact human sciences, humans are quite simple creatures. They are, to put it simply, symbolic animals that codify fears and desires into complex and absurd situations. Therefore, all monsters have their roots in a particular fear or desire. The abominable snowman finds its origin in the fear to the long cold winter, the windigo to your brother eating your parents (and then you), the chupacabras to the latinamerican patriotism, etc… But centaurs..

Centaurs are these mythological beings, half horse (the bottom half) and half human (upper half). Traditionally (mythically?) these beings are astrological diviners, star gazers, etc… Why would anyone keep believing in them?

Source of both

And then.. epiphany… I understood why… (viewer discretion advised... naked picture coming up... HERE)

Baby Shower Games

My dear friend Seraqui is having a baby shower for the fruit of her unprotected passion and the edigator was asked for help.
-Oh, great edigator of the sewers, you will be in charge of games. They said.
-Games?!, edigator flabergastedly asked, what kind of games?!
-Oh, you know, games that involve babies, the edigator was told with a smile and a sigh.
So the edigator thunk and thunk and thunk and created the following Three Baby Games:

I. Pin the penis on the baby
Instructions: Grab a penis, wear a blindfold, pin it on the baby.

Then, thunk some more and came with the white trash version (much more fun!)…

I. (version plus) Put out the cigarette on the baby
Instructions: Grab a lighted cigarette and put it out on the baby.
II. Spin the baby
Instructions: Grab a baby by its hind feet. Spin.
10 points for each completed turn.
III. Kick the baby.
Instructions: Place baby in garden. Punt baby. 2 points per 5 yards of flight.

Any more suggestions?