Zombie Power

Due to recent post about zombie love, edigator was flooded with unending questions about the emotional nature of the zombie. Do they love? Is s/he driven by pure passion? Is it a spiritual hunger? When s/he wants your brain, is it because of solitude?

So we conducted strenuous zombie research and a series of autopsies (which, if we may say so, were not that easy, with all the biting situation…) and here we have, specially for you, a zombie brain:

So, if you know a zombie, and now with this detailed knowledge of s/his drives and urges, you may now enjoy life (er… death) and just keep away of sharp edges (teeth, hands).

And to conclude, a society which under normal circumstances would have never reached the pinnacle of Western civilization (since they had no blacks or latinos), but did so with the wondrous fortune of the zombie slavery.

Tuesday again!

From beneath us, the earth opens up to give forth the only monster capable to put up with today´s shit. He survives on dissertations and academic papers, in discussions of the absolute and let me tell you something...
The savior of lost students,

Count Fartula!

Love me tender

I see tight pink sweaters and red hearts everywhere. People skip and sigh, they covetlously hold sweaty palms and try to pace their walks with the other´s steps. Oh, these public displays of affection and tenderness make me yearn for a bit of cyanide. Butterflies flutter in my belly as I retch and the sweet puppy love stares of devotion seem as exciting as my dentist’s waiting room.

However, for as extensively as I search, I have yet to find that the ardor of all hearts is represented. For example, who has done the marketing for affectionate zombies? They have feelings too! Who sells them chocolate covered brains? Who makes the reservations for a secluded table under the cover of the vultures?

So much wasted passion.

Zombies also need advice for their devotion. For example, here a suggestion for a pick up line.

Fuente

And if you are in the other side, being the object of affection of a devoted zombie, here is a recommended line of action*.

*If you are not positive that the drooling, brainless guy requiring your affection is a zombie, just proceed in the same manner explained.

Those beasts!

We love to believe that the world makes sense, our sense.

We see animals as these humanified and social beings. We give them personalities and emotions and we think they love us so very much and that they are the only ones that understand us. We place them in spaces where they don’t belong and when the mean evil dog mauls the innocent little kid, everyone is frightened and surprised (but he just loooves children). But the animal keeps being that, and well, we cannot deny these attacks are usually funny.

Today, a beast special: news reporters and animals (you decide which is the beast).

Leaping lizard


Cute kittens


Nasty bugs


Grapes and bats

Valentines

February 14 is coming, and since the edigator knows nothing of the subject, research and inspiration was required from other sources in order to gain knowledge.

Specially for you: love...

Cindy la Regia

Love is:

This cartoon should not use the force

Caballo negro

*Sigh*

Of the time it was so cold the extremities froze and fell

The other day, as we were waiting for the very late bus and we endured the marvelous temperature of -38C (which at this level is basically the same in Farenheit), a young man next to me, as he was taking his boarding pass out of his jacket pocket, had the bad fortune to lose a finger.


It is well known by everyone that if you take the severed part and immediately position it to its missing place on the body, the edges will weld without further predicament.


The Quixote even mentions this maxim, “and so when I make it and give it to thee thou hast nothing to do when in some battle thou seest they have cut me in half through the middle of the body- as is wont to happen frequently,- but neatly and with great nicety, ere the blood congeal, to place that portion of the body which shall have fallen to the ground upon the other half which remains in the saddle, taking care to fit it on evenly and exactly.”


However, this young man had the calamity, due perhaps to fear and urgency, that he situated his finger with the fingernail looking down and this has welded so well that from that moment on he became dyslexic.